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***cOOter*** · 01-10-2011, 01:24 PM

Health warning: The food shown on this page might kill you.

Lovely Kyrandia suggest I do a cooking thing, so here I go. Glasses9

CB junk food has to be some what tasty and quick to make. If you're gone from the CB too long
evil turds like Dimmock might finally reveal why he has sick thoughts about under
age girls in one piece and two piece bikinis.

Being that we are CB dick heads, we need the same food bogans eat, as technically CBer's and bogans are the same species.
Anything not moving is usually on the menu.

I've been wanting to stack on weight for a project I have coming up.
It's a long story, but I wanna get fat and heavy so I can sit on a devils face with my pants on
and smoother the prick until his body turns blue.

Anyway, this page is about cooking, so let's get into the kitchen....

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TURN YA GRILL ON ASAP SO THE PAN HEATS UP!!!
A pre-heated hot pan cooks the underside of the bread.
Cheap grill ya can get for $30 at Aldi or what ever that place is called.
These little suckers heat up real quick!!
Never use satans microwaves for CB junk food. They were made to zap Christians.
We might be lazy, but we're not flipping crazy!!

The idea here is SPEED!!! So the ingredients need to be light ...
Remember, ya pissed on VB and don't want to be away from the beer fridge for too long,
whoops I mean the CB for too long.

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Timing is crucial. While the grill is heating up get this shit out of the fringe.

* Mozzarella Cheeses
* Tomato sauce. If you have that Dolmio's grin sauce shit then use it, but make sure ya don't #uck around to long going through the cupboard trying to find it. Dimmock is on-air giving "life coach" lessons and ya need ta get back to the CB asap to find out why the hell he thinks males french kissing on Home and Away is so #ucking important.
* Garlic granules are a must. They keep vampires and Dimmock away and it smells GREAT while cooking.
* Bread rolls or sliced bread.
* If you have to, use some other toppings. In this case I used roast beef.

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Ok, let's cook!!
If using rolls I like to cut them in half.

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Butter is the work of the devil, so forget that crap. Besides it wastes time.
Just whack some sauce on like so.

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With the back of a tea spoon spread the embalming fluid, whoops, artificial preservative stuff out like this.
I stuffed up here. Cover as much of the surface with sauce as possible.
It helps protect the edges of the bread from burning.

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Here's where the garlic goes on. Don't forget this step!!! Book1

If ya real quick some other topping can go on the next layer.

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Now time for the stringy stuff that holds it all together -- The mozzarella cheese.
Don't use anything else otherwise you will go on an anti-terror watch list.

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Take ya hot pan out and whack ya creation on it; stick it in the griller on high.

Shut the door.....

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About 5 minutes later.

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Make sure if ya have CB phone stalkers like we do, that you keep the phone turned off so ya don't
get distracted by cowards like I did this week. I burnt my cheese that night. Thanks David Dimmock.

Timing is crucial. Ya want the cheese where it's just starting to turn baby shit brown.

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I stuffed up here as I was sober tonight and left the cheese cook for about 60 seconds too long.
Make sure ya also keep family members out of the kitchen that babble on about politics and religion.

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Yes that coffee was for me -- it's website work night at www.southporttown.tk

There ya go, CB junk food made in 8 minutes and not a single dull Dimmock moment missed.
He goes on with the same cOOter obsession drivel day after day, so you'll catch a re-run later anyway.

Tears

On the other hand -- I think I'd rather better tasting slower cooked food,
so as to miss all of those un-enlightening David dimwit moments.

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